MS.FAT VS Trashtalk


Assalamu’alaikum everyone 🙂

One of the things we often don’t put much thought or effort into is the way we talk, especially with our family members, because sometimes those whose identities we don’t really know often get our best personalities. It’s sad but it’s true, we’ve all experienced it with ourselves and we’ve seen others do it too.

Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan (i’m sure he needs no introduction :P) shares some guidelines from the Qur’an on how to speak during the khutbah in the video above. In case you guys got no time, here are the main points…


The khutbah mostly revolves around one ayah that we often hear during the khutbatul-haajah that the khateebs and many speakers say before starting their speeches.



“O you who truly believe, have taqwa of Allah and speak in a way that is right.”

Surah Al-Ahzab Ayah 70

Actually just the last word of the ayah: سَدِيد 

Before he dived into this ayah, he explained the previous ayah first:


O you who have believed, be not like those who abused Moses; then Allah cleared him of what they said. And he, in the sight of Allah , was distinguished.

Surah Al-Ahzab Ayah 69

Ayah #69 starts with يأيهاذين ءامنوا which implies that only the believers will pay attention or benefit from what Allah is going to say next. If we don’t pay attention and it doesn’t affect us in our behaviour or anything, then we don’t qualify as believers! All the ayaat with this phrase require our special attention, which will be proof of our belief in Allah and His Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam).

Allah tells those who really believe to not be “like those who abused” Musa (alayhissalam), which can be roughly translated in another way: “Don’t be like those who cause Musa (alayhissalam) pain.”

The first thought that probably comes to mind is that “those who cause Musa (alayhissalam) pain” is referring to Fir’aun and his people. Wrong! It’s actually referring to Bani Israel, Musa (alayhissalam)’s own people.


And (remember) when Musa said to his people: “O my people! Why do you hurt me while you know certainly that I am the Messenger of Allah to you? So when they turned away (from the Path of Allah), Allah turned their hearts away (from the Right Path). And Allah guides not the people who are Fasiqun (rebellious, disobedient to Allah).

Surah As-Saf Ayah 5

Musa (alayhissalam) is saying this in response to his people’s careless and unconcerned behaviour to Allah’s command to slaughter a cow…


And (remember) when Musa (Moses) said to his people: “Verily, Allah commands you that you slaughter a cow.” They said, “Do you make fun of us?” He said, “I take Allah’s Refuge from being among Al-Jahilun (the ignorants or the foolish).”

Surah Al-Baqarah Ayah 67

Now it’s our turn as the followers of the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) to not have the same nonchalant behaviour, like Bani Israel had, when it comes to Allah’s orders and otherwise cause him pain by not taking him and the idea of being real Muslims seriously.

If we go back to to Surah Al-Ahzab Ayah 69…


O you who have believed, be not like those who abused Moses; then Allah cleared him of what they said. And he, in the sight of Allah , was distinguished.

Surah Al-Ahzab Ayah 69

…Let’s zoom in on the “was distinguished” part. Allah said that He had separated/disassociated Musa (alayhissalam) from his people and what they were saying. This means that whether we obey the Prophets and Messengers of Allah (alayhimassalam) or not, they have great honour with Allah.


Now we move onto Surah Al-Ahzab Ayah 70.


“O you who truly believe, have taqwa of Allah and speak in a way that is right.”

Having taqwa of something means to take certain actions to protect yourself from it. So when Allah says to have taqwa of Him, it means to do whatever we can to protect ourselves from His punishment. So in this ayah Allah tells us that one of the ways to have taqwa of Him is to “speak in a way that is right”.

“سديدا” means more than just “right”, and it is also commonly translated as “correct” or “clear”. The ways the ancient Arabs used different forms of this word really shows us the deeper meaning behind speaking “in a way that is right”. It’s really cool…

1. سَدَّ: To fill gaps, like how you fill cracks and holes with plaster

plaster wall

This implies that our speech shouldn’t have any gaps. We should speak in a way that’s fully understood and can’t be misunderstood. Sometimes we purposely speak in a way that has multiple meanings, so as to mess with the person’s head because he or she is left wondering whether you really meant this or that. Personally I feel that people who speak like this are C-O-W-A-R-D-S cuz they got no guts to say what they feel straight to the person’s face.

2. سَدَّدَTo fix or strengthen something


This tells us that we really have to think about what we are going to say and how we are going to say it. What we may want to say is good and correct, but they way we say it may not be.

For example:

Mum: Did you do your homework?

Kid: (annoyed) Yeah I did it OK?!

That’s not قول سديد…

3. سَدٌّA barrier/mountain


We should speak in a manner that is obstructive, in a way that ends fights, problems etc., not in a way that adds to the disagreement. We should calculate and know when to stop talking. When advising someone, you should know where to draw the line and stop. Like if your brother/sister did something wrong, you could just tell him/her once that what he/she was wrong, not go on for the next couple of hours or even days repeating the same thing just to rub it in. 

4. اِسْتَدَّ:To hit the target


Our speech should hit the target. We should know who exactly we are speaking to and why. Our speech needs to have a goal. If we don’t have a goal or it is not a good goal, then be quiet.

It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say something good, or else remain silent.”

Sahih Sunan Ibn Majah Vol. 1, Book 36, Hadith 3971

zip it

Find an intelligent way to get the message across, depending on who you’re talking to, especially in the family!!

5. سِدَادٌA lid of a bottle

PVC cap

A bottle lid prevents the contents of the bottle from coming out. Similarly, when we say something, we shouldn’t let our words leak out. When we say something, stick to it and be consistent. We should say things the way we mean it. If we can’t do something, just say we can’t do it! Don’t say “inshaa’Allah” when you know you’re not gonna do something, don’t bring Allah into your laziness!

6. قول سديد: A word/speech that fulfills a need

broken heart

Sometimes the people around us need to hear us say some things, so be sensitive!

For example, sometimes your kid needs to hear encouragement from you, or that you love them (especially from dads). Step on the pride and ignorance and just say it, it will save you and your kid from a lot of heartache in future inshaa’Allah.

It’s actually easy to be nice in our speech, the challenge comes when the person we’re talking to doesn’t appreciate nor displays good manners. Maybe this will serve as some motivation to overlook the person’s lack of finesse in behaviour…

‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr said, “The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, was neither coarse nor loud. He used to say, “The best of you is the one who has the best character.”

Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, hadith authenticated by Sheikh Albani



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